I'd Rather Get Beat Up In An Alley

So I’ve been awol for a few weeks… apparently that’s what happens when you buy a bar.  I’ve had zero time to bitch about how much it hurts to be a Jets fan, about how we’re better off picking a fight with twelve giant Albanian thugs than rooting for the green and white, about how the Jets only consistency is their creativity when it comes to losing, and I’ve also had no time to pretend I know more about running an offense than Brian Schottenheimer.  Well, thanks to this weeks matchup letdown, I’ve made some time.

After the Dolphins loss I coolly pronounced the end of the Special Teams game-killing-instances (happenings?).  I might never have been wronger in my entire life.  About anything.  Not even when I said Star Wars Episode 1 was “going to ROCK!”  Jar Jar f*%$ing Floppy Ears is a welcome sight compared to Kellen Clemens coming anywhere near a snap ever again.  His botched snap set off a domino effect that lasted 4 quarters and somehow choked out our field goal unit.  And to think I was a Clemens believer… yikes.  Basically, I’m just admitting how wrong I was here.  With the Jets, you can lose any number of ways and I should know that.  Stupid optimism getting in the way of my football smarts is all.

Our defense played a great game but once again when all the balls are on the table we couldn’t get it done on one last game winning drive.  Matt Ryan threw many interceptions yet we came down with none.  What gives?  Revis looked unbelievable and for some reason Ryan threw at him all game.  This repeated foolery helped Gang Green stall the Falcons most of the game… then came the last drive and you know how this movie ends…

I think Rex Ryan needs to bring in a new sliding specialist.  Girardi must have taught Sanchez to slide with his face because our quarterback dove every opportunity he got.  If there’s one thing I expected to see it was at least one Sanchez slide.

These refs looked like they were borrowed from the NBA.  Go look at Sanchez’s Intentional Grounding call and then look at Ryan’s no-call in the third quarter.  Also take a look at Mangold getting kicked in the chin and then the flag being thrown at Thomas Jones.  Oh, I get it… we’ve got a rookie QB, they don’t get the calls until they earn it right?  Go bang yourself Mr. BS Referee.  Sour grapes?  only slightly

How can we score 7 points all game?  In a playoff race?  I just don’t get it… and it hurts like liquid acid.  Liquid fire.  You know burning in my veins that makes me want to go punch Kerry Rhodes for all his showboating.  Ah yes-  Kerry Rhodes is back in the starting lineup.  He made sure we saw him-  strutting, bowing, dancing anytime the ball came near him.  What about when he got juked out of his cleats on the Falcon’s final drive?  That missed tackle is indicative of what you get with Kerry Rhodes.  All flash, no muscle.  You’d think he would at least have the tact to act humbled by the last few weeks, but no-   Rhodes isn’t a team player and I just hope we get good value for him when he’s traded.  Go to Oakland, Kerry-  Al will love you there… you can dance all day and never win again.   Maybe Schotty will be joining you soon.

To conclude-  remember that from school?  Anywho, to conclude, this post was necessary you know?  Like a child possessed by the devil requires a priest, I too need to exorcise my demons.   Or at least rant about my crappy football fanhood…  Which now will most definitely have to place a few wagers on the playoffs to stay interested.  There’s always teams to root against I guess.  As they say in Houston… “F*!k the Cowboys.”

They do really say that in Houston.  A lot.

I’ve gone from being dumbfounded to angry to depressed to optimistic to hopeful to “holy crap, we didn’t really give up that much.” I do not, or I guess I should say, did not like the personality I saw Mark Sanchez put on display the weeks leading up until draft day. He struck me as an egotistical jock who’s spent the past few years playing sports in Southern California. When asked about workouts he did for teams he pretty much said “I wowed them with my arm, with my football brain, and with my stunning smile.”

“I threw it really well. I was spinning it all day. I knocked down all the throws. It was great… As soon as I sat down with their team and their playbook, they were like, ‘Wow, this kid has a natural feel for the game. He understands our offense very well.”

That was right after his workout with the Jets a few weeks ago. Ryan Leaf had more modesty. I don’t know why everyone in the media thinks the Jets did an incredible thing by trading up for Sanchez. They gave up three players and a 2nd rounder to move in on a young guy who’s played 16 games at USC. He’s an unproven commodity with an air of arrogance about him. I pray Rexenbaum know what they’re doing. Bargaining with Mangini is akin to dealing with the Devil… I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

Did you see the way Sanchez was fixing his sideburns on National TV two seconds after donning a green and white hat? My doomsday draft had unfolded right before my eyes. I can’t stand football players who preen. They are two things that just don’t mix. Preening football players in Jet’s hats make me want to puke.

Abram Elam will be missed even if it’s only by me. Kenyon Coleman? I liked him but he’s replaceable. Remember the quarterback battle between Clemens and Ratliff? All those people in the blogosphere arguing that Ratliff was a superstar waiting in the wings with an incredible cannon that would stretch the field all the way to the Superbowl? Well now we know how much Ratliff must have impressed Rex Ryan during those workouts.

It’s true. We really didn’t give much up in terms of personnel.

We have the offensive line to propel even a mid-level quarterback deep into the win column so if Sanchez is half as ready for the pros as he thinks he is we should be able to score points. We’re a run first team right? Ground and Pound baby! Speaking of Thomas Jones… I loved the way we moved in on Shonn Greene. One way or another we’ll have a bruiser to share carries with lil’ Leon Washington next year. Anybody else smell a Thomas Jones trade brewing in Rex’s laboratory?

We’ve addressed the quarterback situation (hopefully). We’ve still got to find a blocking Tight End and a dangerous receiver. I would prefer said receiver to only be dangerous on the field but the Jets front office doesn’t seem to mind where their prospective players set it off- they’re talking to Plaxico “I shot myself in the leg” Burress. We can’t pick this guy up until 1) we find out if he can still run and 2) we get him a pistol with a safety. He might also need an IQ test and a background check.

D-Rex sure likes to hit the throttle doesn’t he?

It was the best of times, it was the… uhhh, best of times. Thomas Jones led the AFC in rushing. Leon Washington finally made the pro bowl and achieved the respect he deserves. Both are focal points of the Jets’ game plan. Both are looking for new contracts.

The best times are going to get ugly. Or at least a tad personal.

My gut feeling is that only one of these guys is going to get a contract extension and it’s not going to be the guy who gets the tough yards or who carries the ball the most.

Thomas Jones had a great season last year. Running behind what might be the best offensive line, Jones once again looked like the runner who carried the Bears to the Super Bowl a few years back. He’s under contract for another two years but has expressed displeasure at the fact that he’s only due $900,000 next season and isn’t showing up to mandatory workouts. His thinking (or his agent’s) seems to be that he had such a good season last year he’s worthy of a new deal. My thinking is that he front loaded his contract so he can make a ton of money in the first two seasons (like 4 million clams a season) in case of injury. After all, those bi-ceps have been in the league for a little while now .

Leon Washington is also coming off a great season. He scored six touchdowns as a change of pace back/return man. Where Jones is a straight ahead bruising runner, Leon is greased lightning with tap dancing shoes. He’s hard to catch and even harder to hang on to. Washington’s drawn comparisons to Barry Sanders, Brian Westbrook, and Darren Sproles. I like to compare him to a pig greased in oil at a rodeo. Ever watch kids try to catch a greased pig? It’s good action but I digress…Washington is also still playing under his rookie contract and he knows he’s due.

Last season Jones carried the ball 214 times more than Leon and he scored 13 touchdowns to Washington’s 6. Some people might say that Mangini’s biggest mistake was not giving the ball to Washington enough. He might be the only player on the Jets entire roster with big-play potential. Any time, any play that Leon’s involved in could be a touchdown. The stats even spell it out for you. Jones’ longest run in 219 attempts was a 59 yard run. Leon’s? 61 yards. He averaged a gaudy 6 yards a carry (5.9- close enough) and when he touches the ball it looks like the guy has been shot out of a cannon. In short, Leon Washington is impossible to replace. He’s worn the Green and White his entire career and has overachieved since his first game.

The Jets will (hopefully) present Washington a new contract in the near future to keep him with the Green and White faithful. I don’t see them doing the same for Thomas Jones. He might be the main back in our offense but he’s easier to replace and despite this year’s salary he’s already gotten the type of contract from Woody that he’s holding out for and he’s still playing under it. The 900 grand he’s due is twice what Leon’s supposed to make next year. Leon should get his juice and a contract extension lest there be a revolt in Jet Nation. I’m talking storming-the-Bastille-kind of revolt. Did you read what happened in the blogosphere when Washington’s name came up in trade talks for Cutler? Heads would have rolled for sure.

Next up… we discuss next year’s just released schedule.