I'd Rather Get Beat Up In An Alley

One of my biggest concerns coming into this season was the lack of continuity among personnel from year to year.  We brought in so many new players with big names from foreign places I guess I was worried that the Jets wouldn’t feel like the Jets but more like some almost-all-star team. We let two of our “Play like a Jet” fan favorites go during the off season, Leon Washington being the most painful, and went on a crazy free-agent  spending spree.  Jason friggin’ Taylor is wearing Green and White for God’s sake… my concerns were real.  Would rooting for these Jets feel the same?  Would I have trouble pulling for this “Miami Heat” patchwork team wearing colors that match the blood pumping through my veins?

After Monday Night’s game against the Ravens it’s safe to say these are indeed the same ol’ New York Football Jets.  We showed the world how easy it is to take a talented group of men playing their inaugural game in a brand new stadium and make it look like they don’t even know the rules much less how to score a touchdown.  Illegal Shifts, loads of Pass Interference, pure stupidity (Keller) and fumbles galore… Yes: these men deserve to wear the Green and White.

Then why are all the Jets die-hards already jumping ship?  Literally during the 1st quarter of the game after Braylon’s idiotic penalty negated what would have been a beautiful pass to Dustin Keller my buddy looked at me with a straight face and yelled, “You know we’ve lost the game already!”  Classic abused puppy syndrome… he spent the rest of the game freaking out and now is refusing to go to the Patriots game Sunday because, “it’s going to break my heart to watch us go 0-2.”  This sentiment was not just Larry’s (sorry buddy -  you deserve it) but was also popular among many fans watching the game with us in the bar.  Not only are we in week 1 here but also in the 1st quarter of week 1.   All across the internet, on ESPN, and throughout my Jets-loving bar, people are pulling the shoot and giving up on the season.  I find it disheartening… and yet welcome.

The fact that Larry was right sucks and is beside the point.  I believe in Mojo.  I believe in Juju.  I don’t think the season is anywhere near over and fully expect to beat the Patriots despite Randy Moss’s bravado and Tom Brady’s new hairdo.  With Rex Ryan’s big mouth and coverage from Hard Knocks of training camp propelling the hype machine, our boys in Green have been adding new fans at an astonishing clip.  Seems like everywhere I look what used to say “Giants” now says “Jets.”  Everyone I talked to during the game had an in-depth knowledge of the differences between a 3-4 defense and a 4-6.  If I heard the words “Exotic Blitz” come out of one more analysts mouth I might have given myself a swirly in my aforementioned bar.  None of these things are an issue any more.  The masses are now rooting against us.  They’re cheering for the Jets to get punched in their big, wide, open mouths.

It’s back to being just us: the abused puppies, the die-hards who remember Testeverde’s achilles, Byar’s fumble, Marino’s fake spike, Rich Kotite, and the gall of Belichik hitting the road for New England.  It was before my time but some of us might even remember Shea Stadium, Maynard, Klecko, Namath and a glorious Super Bowl.

We are the Jets faithful and regardless of what happens this is our team.  True, we’re a bunch of idiots but we’re football smart idiots who sell out our games no matter how many losses we accrue or how stupid our tight end appears to be (10 yards Keller. NOT 9).  Other teams have fair-weather fans.  The Jets have foul-weather fans.  When things are going wrong, we nod in solidarity, “Yup, I remember this feeling.  Must be football season.”

I’m a rare breed amongst the sea of Green and White: an optimistic Jets fan.  It’s just in my nature to see the incredible possibilities rather than the perhaps inevitable defeat when the final whistle blows.  We all knew that the first three games of the season were going to be a bitch.  Why mope around when we lose the 1st one against what many consider to be a Super Bowl caliber team?

The Patriots don’t have the defense that the Ravens have but they do have an inexhaustibly meticulous coach who will go over every play from Sunday’s game with a fine-toothed comb.  Expect the Pats to stack the box.  Expect Brady to target Wilson and Cromartie.  Expect Larry to pronounce us dead in the water if we lose the coin toss.  I, for one, am really looking forward to a great game.

As bad as I thought the Revis situation would get, I never dreamed it would really snowball into Darrelle sitting out the whole season.  We’re not quite there yet, but after American Football’s top corner sat out Tuesday’s practice he took a giant step in that direction.  By doing so Revis lost a year of free agency which is not a good sign for my Super Bowl hopes.  It gives his threats credibility and shows his determination.  Now what?

We start discussing trade possibilities – that’s what.  If Darrelle doesn’t want to play here for $12 million a year than maybe we can ship him off to some 3-13 team and get us some Herschal Walker-esque love if you know what I mean (wink wink).  Trust me, I know this is probably just a way of coping with agony and I don’t care.

Let’s take a look at some prospects shall we?

We’ll start in the NFC… try our best not to have to face the Island on a regular basis.  The bottom of the barrel sounds promising.

O’ Detroit, your Lions are more like possums.  There’s not much on this team that I could see being worth our stud corner.  Maybe their draft pick next year?  Okay, it’s the Lions-  I’d definitely take their #1 next season.

What about Washington?  The Redskins are always up for a trade.  Revis for Haynesworth straight up!  I’ll take it as long as we don’t have to repay any of that $20 million Albert stuffed in his pocket while he was holding out a few weeks back.

Would the Vikings give up Adrian Peterson?  No way in hell.  Maybe one of their receivers… we don’t need any.  Well then, what do we need?  A safety would be nice.

Would KC give up their rookie safety?  Eric Berry should be playing for Rex anyway.   Another defensive lineman might be a good fit.  A tight end?  Keller’s still the man.

I’ve got it!  Let’s trade him to the Seahawks for their #1 pick next season and their #2 running back.  I hear he’d be a fan favorite up here in New York.   That would be awesome!  Revis holds out because he sees the way the Jets treated Leon Washington only to be the focal point of a trade bringing everyone’s favorite gummy bear home.  Leon’s under a 1 year contract for less than $2 million… I’m just sayin’.

There’s always room for a stud running back right?  I’m sure the Ravens would love to have Revis in a purple uni.  Would they give up Ray Rice though?  Probably.  Let’s do it (although this is in our conference).

More than anything I want Darelle practicing with the rest of the NFL’s #1 defense.  I’m not surprised that Hard Knocks painted the picture with a team-sided slant.  We’ve got to remember that for the most part we’re only getting what the team is putting out there.  They want Revis to look like the bad guy and they’re doing a good job of it.  Who knows what was said at the diner?  Cameras weren’t allowed – we only saw Tanny driving to the meeting and driving away from the meeting.  I wouldn’t put anything past Revis, his agent or our GM.  When you get to this level, the big guns are always on the table.

Tannenbaum:  Hi Darrelle

Revis:  Hello Mike

Tannenbaum:  When you coming to camp again?

Revis:  Next Thursday remember?  I’m going to the Bahamas this weekend.

Tannenbaum:  That’s right.  It’s in your new contract.  You’ve got to work on your tan for the cameras.  What do you think -  tuna salad or cheeseburger deluxe?

Revis:  The cheeseburger but substitute onion rings.  They’re beer battered.  You getting a shake?

Tannenbaum:  I will if you will!!!