I'd Rather Get Beat Up In An Alley

Rex Ryan pumped his fist in the air and cheered.  Or growled.  I’m not sure but it doesn’t matter.  His bravado, his swaggerlishousness, his draft day blitzes, his sense of humor and his diabolical defensive schemes all came together in an opening day butt whuppin’ of the favored Houston Texans.  Not only did the Jets score a win but they’ve generated some serious momentum heading into next week’s match up against the Patriots at home.

Our defense showed up as advertised.  They didn’t allow a single point and every time Schaub threw a pass he got smacked.   By the end of the game the Texans were running the Chuck and Duck offense.  Vernon Gholston had not one, not two, but THREE tackles… all by his gigantic self and one was for a loss.  I saw him miss a sack because he was more concerned with pushing his blocker up field but hey, improvement is as improvement does and it’s not a coincidence I’m talking about Gholston with a Forrest Gump-ism.  Run Vernon Run… nobody took me up on my $50 dollar bet so I’ll carry it over to next week.  Gholston to sack Brady?  Now that’s beautiful.

What’s got me excited is that the Texans have what ESPN calls an “explosive offense.”  They’ve got the league’s leading receiver and a super stud running back.   We were missing two of our leading pass rushers.  Houston never even sniffed the end zone.  They didn’t make it past the 35 yard line, actually.

Andre Johnson?  Not a factor.

Steve Slayton?  I forgot who that is – sorry.

Mario Williams?  Ran into a Brick wall.

Our rookie looked amazing.   Mark Sanchez didn’t get sacked once.  Read that last sentence out loud to yourself a few times.  He moved around like that elusive quarter in a pocket full of nickles when you just have to have a jawbreaker.  On draft day I wasn’t too happy with the move to get Sanchez but by the end of preseason I was on board.  Now I’ve purchased a brand new shiny bandwagon and I’m parking it outside my apartment.  If you want to jump on feel free.  Might want to bring some beer though because I’m going to enjoy this one fully all week long.

Jerricho Cotchery looks like he bulked up some more in the past week.  Is that even possible?  My friend was making steroid jokes but he’s a Patriots fan so I guess he’s just used to cheaters.  Cotchery is tenacious where other number 1 receivers are elusive and I think teams will be tempted to take him lightly.  Big mistake.  Gritty and tough – he’s a perfect fit for Rex Ryan.

Perhaps I’ll feel different after watching the Pats tonight but I dunno… it’s been a long time since I’ve felt comfortable enough to say “this one’s over” with any time left on the clock.  That came flying out of my mouth during the 3rd quarter on Sunday.  We dominated the Texans and there’s no denying that the Jets are expecting a win next week.  I’ve got tickets to Sunday’s game.  Three rows from the top… all the better to see the mayhem I’spose.

The Jets officially have a new coach and while his pedigree is fierce, he lacks chops when it comes to head coaching experience. Jets fans got what we wanted- a fire breathing quarterback killer who’s defense promises blitzes from any postition at any time. We can expect kitchen sinks, safes falling from the sky, cornerbacks hiding behind referees, and hopefully a tenacious ball hawking D. By all reports Rex Ryan is ecstatic about this opporunity and he floored the front office when he interviewed. Despite being in the AFC championship game, Ryan not only came in prepared- the man came in with a full on PowerPoint presentation. The next few weeks will be interesting for Rex, he’s got lots of stuff on his plate to deal with and some of it needs to be addressed sooner rather than later.

First of all, Rex will have to bring in a new Defensive Coordinator. Bob Sutton‘s been as good as gone for months now and Ryan surely will be bringing in somebody he trusts to build his trademark blitz-happy soon to be Patriot-destroying defense. Since he’s made it sound like this is his dream job, I can only assume Rex already knows who his new coordinator will be. Interestingly enough, Romeo Crennel is still floating around as a free agent coach after being fired by the Browns. He’s proven himself to be a great Defensive Coordinator but I think Rex will be tapping someone he’s worked with rather than another big-name defensive mastermind. Would be interesting though wouldn’t it? I feared Mangini would team up with the former Browns head coach and further humiliate all of us over here in Jet’s land but it looks like that’s not happening. He’ll probably find a way to humiliate us all by himself.

What about the Offensive Coordinator? It makes no sense but by every report I read or see Brian Schottenheimer appears to be returning. He must have gotten someone in Woody’s family pregnant because otherwise he would have been canned right after the Jets almost lost to the Bills but before the offense didn’t take the field against Seattle. The only other scenario I could come up with is that maybe Mangini secretly made all the bad play calls last season and let Schotty take the blame. Maybe Brian’s been telling Woody for the past few years that “there is no Mangenius” and “it’s his fault we keep throwing the ball on 3rd and inches.” It’s a stretch I know but there is no other explanation why Woody and Tannenbaum are so madly in love with Schottenheimer… they share a serious Bromance those three and I just don’t get it.

Rex also must make some personnel decisions and none of them are more important or immediate than the Brett Favre situation. Will he retire? Should he retire? Does Ryan even care? Woody, Tannenbaum, and Schotty all have expressed their hope that Brett returns but what if Ryan doesn’t even want him? On one hand, he’s a Hall of Fame quarterback that never gives up (on a play or his career) and has thrown way more touchdowns than anybody ever. On the other hand, he looked like dog puke for the final month of the season and has thrown way more interceptions than anybody ever. It also needs to be said that Rex just finished a run deep into the playoffs with a rookie at the helm of his team’s offense. What did Coach Ryan learn from that experience?

Once the curtain falls on the Favre situation, Rex will be able to focus on his new baby; our beloved broken 3-4 defense that just can’t stop the pass and the run during the same season. He’s going to assess what pieces of the puzzle we do have (Jenkins) and what we need (some serious help in the secondary). I honestly think this is why Ryan got the job. According to ESPN, a large part of Ryan’s presentation highlighted Vernon Gholston‘s potential. Rex seems to think he has the ability to be another Lee Suggs.

The overall message to Jets fans and to the candidates for head coach has been that Woody is looking to win now. He’s not looking for a coach to come in and start from scratch but instead for someone to come in and work with the infrastructure we have in place. Rex fits that bill to a D. By choosing a coach who will embrace our 3-4 Woody’s brought in someone who could conceivably win the AFC East next season. We’ve got 7 pro-bowlers and Tom Brady’s looking pretty shakey to return next season. That other QB in the East that everyone likes to throw in Jets fans’ faces? It was Ryan that engineered Pennington’s 4 interception demise just three weeks ago.