I'd Rather Get Beat Up In An Alley

Rex Ryan pumped his fist in the air and cheered.  Or growled.  I’m not sure but it doesn’t matter.  His bravado, his swaggerlishousness, his draft day blitzes, his sense of humor and his diabolical defensive schemes all came together in an opening day butt whuppin’ of the favored Houston Texans.  Not only did the Jets score a win but they’ve generated some serious momentum heading into next week’s match up against the Patriots at home.

Our defense showed up as advertised.  They didn’t allow a single point and every time Schaub threw a pass he got smacked.   By the end of the game the Texans were running the Chuck and Duck offense.  Vernon Gholston had not one, not two, but THREE tackles… all by his gigantic self and one was for a loss.  I saw him miss a sack because he was more concerned with pushing his blocker up field but hey, improvement is as improvement does and it’s not a coincidence I’m talking about Gholston with a Forrest Gump-ism.  Run Vernon Run… nobody took me up on my $50 dollar bet so I’ll carry it over to next week.  Gholston to sack Brady?  Now that’s beautiful.

What’s got me excited is that the Texans have what ESPN calls an “explosive offense.”  They’ve got the league’s leading receiver and a super stud running back.   We were missing two of our leading pass rushers.  Houston never even sniffed the end zone.  They didn’t make it past the 35 yard line, actually.

Andre Johnson?  Not a factor.

Steve Slayton?  I forgot who that is – sorry.

Mario Williams?  Ran into a Brick wall.

Our rookie looked amazing.   Mark Sanchez didn’t get sacked once.  Read that last sentence out loud to yourself a few times.  He moved around like that elusive quarter in a pocket full of nickles when you just have to have a jawbreaker.  On draft day I wasn’t too happy with the move to get Sanchez but by the end of preseason I was on board.  Now I’ve purchased a brand new shiny bandwagon and I’m parking it outside my apartment.  If you want to jump on feel free.  Might want to bring some beer though because I’m going to enjoy this one fully all week long.

Jerricho Cotchery looks like he bulked up some more in the past week.  Is that even possible?  My friend was making steroid jokes but he’s a Patriots fan so I guess he’s just used to cheaters.  Cotchery is tenacious where other number 1 receivers are elusive and I think teams will be tempted to take him lightly.  Big mistake.  Gritty and tough – he’s a perfect fit for Rex Ryan.

Perhaps I’ll feel different after watching the Pats tonight but I dunno… it’s been a long time since I’ve felt comfortable enough to say “this one’s over” with any time left on the clock.  That came flying out of my mouth during the 3rd quarter on Sunday.  We dominated the Texans and there’s no denying that the Jets are expecting a win next week.  I’ve got tickets to Sunday’s game.  Three rows from the top… all the better to see the mayhem I’spose.

Laveranues Coles has been the Grumpy Smurf on offense for awhile now. He wasn’t happy with Mangini’s training camps, he hates having to catch balls that are thrown too hard, and he missed his good buddy Chad Pennington. I think his sensitive hands miss Chad’s lobbed passes more than anything but hey that’s just me. After meeting with Rex Ryan this week, they’ve agreed to part ways amicably. Coles has been released and the Jets no longer owe him the 7 million bucks he was guaranteed (if I understand it correctly we’re now going to take a 1 million dollar hit). Halleluja.

This off season is off the hook. The list of recent non-Jets reads as such: Brett Favre, Mike Nugent, Chris Baker, Brandon Moore, David Barrett, Eric Barton (probably anyway), David Bowens, and now Grumpy Smurf. We’re clearing cap space faster than Bill Belichik can grab our unwanted players. You gotta know Chris Baker’s been targeted by the Pats right? I’ll bet anyone 50 bucks right now that Coles ends up with Chad in Miami. This is unbelievably…. something. I don’t know what but I just hope Tannenbaum has a Plan A, a Plan B, and a Plan C.

The team that just 3 weeks ago was reported to be in “Cap Hell” is now at least 22 million under and I bet that number will continue to grow until the start of Free Agency this Friday. That’s a ton of money to play with. Who are we targeting? Who does Rex have his eye on?

I’ll go out on a limb here and guess that a large chunk of Baltimore’s defense will be making the move to Jersey this spring. The Ravens pretty much made Terrell Suggs unatainable but beyond that, I don’t think there’s anything stopping Bart Scott, Ray Lewis, or Jim Leonard from coming here. So Ray Lewis is old and he wants to play in Dallas… perfect. Pick up Scott and Leonard.

As of right now we officially need a Wide Receiver. I’m hoping for TJ Houshmandzadeh as well as a player in the draft. Isn’t Ocho Cinco dying to get out of Cincinatti too? Coles really wasn’t the receiver he has been in the past. Between the dropped game breaking balls and the concussions he was starting to have, his whining really started to irk me. We’ve still got Jerricho Cotchery and he’s tough as nails. Even if it’s Clowney who lines up at least we’re putting some speed on the field.

Friday will hopefully reveal some of the Jets plans for free agency. Good players go quickly so I’m hoping (praying) that Woody has the checkbook raring to go. This is no time to sit on our butts and watch. By all indications the Jets have some $$$ burning a hole in their pocket and are ready to pounce. This is the Jets we’re talking about though, so you know it wouldn’t surprise me if we ended up getting Terrell Owens. Let me be clear, this is in no way an endorsement of TO. He’s a punk and I’m glad Jet’s fans aren’t even mentioning his name on team websites. Except I just kinda sorta did…

Could someone please explain to me why on Earth the Jets are so attached to Brian Schottenheimer? The offense stunk it up the final five games and the play calling was atrocious all season long.

I’ll never forget sitting in the freezing rain/hail storm watching the Jets take the field aganst the Denver Broncos. Nastiest conditions I’ve ever sat through, the hot chocolate was luke warm. Everything was frozen and slippery.

What did the Jets do on their first posession? Double reverse pitch to Cotchery who naturally fumbles the ball to the Broncos. That’s a tricky play indoors under the best of conditions but during a Biblical rainstorm it belongs in the playbook to be pulled out another day. I know that. You know that. How come the Offensive coordinator who’s getting paid boatloads of cash doesn’t know that?

That’s just one glaring example in a season where the awful playcalling was one of the few consistencies the Jets had to offer. The front office wasted no time in firing Mangini. The Defensive Coordinator is practically gone already- they’re just waiting to make a decision on the head coach before they fill that slot. So why, I ask again, is Schotty even being interviewed for a head coaching position?

According to Brian Costello in Tuesday’s Post Schottenheimer interviewed and “impressed many in the organization.” For real? Impressed them how? With his last name? Schottenheimer has done nothing to brag about in his tenure with the Jets; never breaking the top ten in offense, never winning a playoff game, and never using the right tool at the right time. The guy out thinks himself, his quarterback, his offensive line, his fan base, the commentators, Joe Namaths’ mom…everybody! and it doesn’t work! The Jets had the AFC’s leading rusher and yet how many times this season did you see a 3rd & 1 result in an incomplete pass? WTF! This guy is a major part of the problem, so why is he even mentioned when looking to the solution?

I’m serious people. I don’t get it. Do you?