I'd Rather Get Beat Up In An Alley

I came.  I saw.  They conquered. Big time.

I don’t know what moment was the most surreal – my seats being a mile away from the action or the entire stadium chanting Jason Taylor’s name at ear splitting volume.  I also found myself with a Taylor Ham sandwich, a meatball sub, and a flask of tequila but that’s a story for another day (or medium).

First things first: I’ve been to New Jets Stadium but this was my inaugural American Tackle Football game there.  What’d I think of the joint?  I’ll go through my loves before the hates because there were plenty of both.

Loved

• The atmosphere outside the stadium: One thing Jets fans know how to do is tailgate and I’m glad that all the new parking zones, train schedules, and shuttle buses didn’t stop the pregame festivities one bit.  There’s something awe inspiring about a short-bus painted green that transforms into a dual barbecue, 4 plasma screen, 12 seat bar complete with an awning and the NFL ticket.  My buddy and I pretty much wandered the rows of cars going from tailgate to tailgate.  I saw drunk people.
• The atmosphere right inside the gates: There were ping-pong tables ringing the stadium so people could play pick up games.  Seriously, ping pong!  I don’t know who’s idea that was, but that man/woman deserves a raise.  Stages were set up at the corners for live music too.  They wanted people to hang out and I think that’s just grand.
• This Joint is HUGE: I mean enormous.  It’s like the Coliseum on steroids.  I got the chills the first time Fireman Ed got a thunderous “J-E-T-S” going and because the place is soooo big, the fans on the other side of the stadium looked like little radioactive atoms vibrating  uncontrollably.  If you’ve seen radioactive atoms than you know what I’m talking about.  If not, then please ignore the end of that last sentence… moving on…
• The food:  I ate a gourmet meatball sub complete with delicious sauce and fresh shaved pepper-Parmesan.  My buddy made a bee-line for the Taylor Ham which I just thought was an odd choice. Next time I’ll go for the Taylor Ham and Egg.  That’s pretty much all I ate except for a few hand fulls of popcorn but everything I ate was a significant upgrade over the fare at the old Meadowlands.
• NFL Red Zone: There are giant televisions everywhere you look and the Red Zone channel was on every single one of them.  Any time a team in another game gets close to the end zone coverage switches to that game.   If you’ve never seen it before, The Red Zone is great to watch, especially on an airplane.  The giant screens in the four cornerstones had it done during time outs.  Brilliant!

Hated

• The food: I know, I know… this is on the “loved” list but you better get used to it because everything about the new stadium lives in the realm of love/hate.  As far as selection goes I can’t help but wonder what these folks were thinking.  There’s a movement amongst stadiums being built to provide quality local food to the fans and Taylor Ham is the only local slightly imaginative thing I saw.  Pretty weak in comparison.  I’m wondering if the Club Level provides a better selection but our attempt to check it out was denied by my Section 333 ticket.
• This Joint is HUGE:  I’ve never wished I had binoculars before at a sporting event.  The same nose bleed ticket in this stadium feels much farther away.  The Players resembled ants more than humans and without the giant TV’s in the corners it would really be difficult to follow the action.
• Not fan friendly:  Most new stadiums are built with as many sight lines as possible so that if you’re wandering around buying beer or food you can still see the field of play.  The New Meadowlands is the exact opposite.  Literally the only place to see the action is from your seat.  There are TV’s everywhere, yes, but that’s just not the same.  There are actually members of the stadium staff who’s job was specifically to shoo fans away from any areas behind seats where they might catch some action.  This is the worst example of any stadium aiming at corporate money and ignoring the real fans that I have ever witnessed. We weren’t even allowed to check out the Club Level food selection. It is also my biggest problem with the new digs.

Will I go back?  Most definitely – just not as much as I normally would because I can’t afford expensive seats and the cheap ones really suck it sideways.  I’m thinking that rather than go to my usual 4+ games,  I might just pick one or two and spend the money for a real seat.

In other news… we’ve got Miami this weekend.  You know what that means?  It’s one of my favorite times of the season!  I get to roll the clip of Leon demolishing Channing Crowder.  Best. Clip. Ever.

Enough about the stupid hot dog already.  The dude was nervous as hell before last weeks game.  Geeze, I was queasy for him and couldn’t eat myself.  Instead, I started guzzling Bloody Marys in a vain attempt to fool my body into thinking I’d eaten something (by the way, best bloody I’ve had in years).  Once the Jets went up 31 points in the 3rd quarter though, I’m sure Sanchez’ nervous stomach turned ravenous (mine did).  Road kill woulda’ looked good to him.  Think about it, he probably hadn’t eaten well all week following his performance against Buffalo.  That hot dog tasted better than any high dollar meal USC ever used to woo the young QB.  ESPN is still showing the video footage of Sanchez chowing down.  WTF?  Would they rather an iv?  What about the historic blowout Sanchez captained?  Listen ESPN, the only thing that makes a 38 point victory taste any better is a little mustard.  I only hope the kid reaches for some pulled pork after Miami rolls into town Sunday.

The Miami Dolphins… blech… the only thing they have in common with the New York Jets is the East Coast.  I’m still losing sleep over the way the Fish ran all over us in week 5.  Channing Crowder’s boasts came true.  Bart Scott’s? Rex Ryan’s? not so much.  Bright orange jerseys and all, the Dolphins handed us our collective asses in a big fish bowl filled with Marc Anthony’s old jewelry… mostly gaudy pinkie rings.

To say that I’m looking forward to Sunday is an understatement.  I’ll be there in my seats, about a mile or so above the action, sandwiched between two old school grumpy pessimistic Jets fans yelling my post-Halloween-hungover-ass off.    That’s the dynamic it seems these days.  There are the fans that hope we’re on the verge of a dynasty and there are the fans that know we’re going to lose, the ones I call the Abused Puppies.  I’m sure you’ve experienced it yourselves…  “Same old Jets.  I told ya.  I’m burning all my Jersey’s for good this time I mean  it.  We stink.  We’re cursed!”  Blah blah blah…It’s like they’re almost rooting for their own team to lose.  Did they forget we drafted a rookie quarterback?  Did they forget we beat the Pats a few weeks ago?  What about the still very attainable 11-5 record, or the 12-4?

We here at Jets Juju are firm believers in Mojo.  Maybe losing some pessimistic doomsayers wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

I dunno if you caught the new South Park but the folks over at the Jets Blog posted it today and I laughed my ass off.  For Mojo’s sake you should Check it out.

Will I ever get sick of watching Leon lay out Channing Crowder? 

Nope… LETS GO JETS!!!