I'd Rather Get Beat Up In An Alley

Do you think the Pats are a little nervous about Monday night’s game?  I feel like they might actually have some butterflies up there in chowdah land and that makes me very happy.  As scary as Tom Brady is, I prefer the Patriots sans Randy Moss any day.  I just don’t see Dieon Branch making 40-yard one-finger grabs in the back of our end zone.

I personally  have one teeny tiny little ounce of fear going into Monday night’s game (ok I have a few but whatever).  Have you noticed the way our running backs this season love jumping over the pile on short yardage situations?  You know, 3rd and 1-  Ladainian Tomlinson takes the hand-off then leaps up and over the scrum to pick up the first down.  If you’ve been watching I’m sure you’ve picked up on the fact that Sean Greene recently added this maneuver to his repertoire.  At this point I’m certainly not complaining… they’ve converted a number of important 1sts this season.  It’s just that Jerod Mayo routinely stuffs that play.  Violently.  With helmets popping off and stuff.

I don’t want to see our old man LT (or Greene for that matter) leap up for a glorious 1 yard gain only to be smashed by the evil minions of Bill Belichik.  Perhaps Rex watched some film and picked up on Mayo’s soul crushing tendencies.  One can hope…

Is there anyone out there that could tell me why the Broncos aren’t losing a draft pick for filming other team’s during their walk through?  Didn’t we already establish that if you’re caught trying to steal other team’s game plans via film, it is punishable by draft pick denial and a 2 Kabillion dollar fine?  Monkey-see monkey-do I guess.  Or maybe… monkey-see his boss cheat and win Super Bowls monkey-think “Why not?”  I knew that I didn’t like McDaniels but I couldn’t put my finger on it.  Now I’ve figured it out.

He’s a douche Bag. 

A lying, underhanded, back stabbing, (and now) cheating douche.  I hope he cuts himself shaving if he ever becomes man enough to grow facial hair.

Training camp is under way and I’m sure y’all have heard Darrelle Revis is still holding out.  Only in America could a dude making a million bucks a year under contract until 2013 look like a good guy by holding out for more money.  I’m not saying he’s wrong in doing so -  just stating facts here.  I get it.  He could break his leg (cough… cough… LEON… cough…) and suddenly not be worth the $15.6 million he says he’s worth.  I sound bitter. Sorry for that.  It’s just that loony-tunes Al Davis may have somehow discovered a way to screw up the Jet’s Super Bowl Dreams.  It wouldn’t surprise me if Bill Belichik hatched this crazy scheme in that lab of his underneath Fenway.   You know, the one where he injected Tom Brady with Super Soldier Serum a few years back.

Sadly, you can’t build a team around a corner back.  You just can’t.  Jerry Glanville tried to do that in the 90′s with Deion Sanders. I’m pretty sure that the only thing that team accomplished was getting their butts whupped in the Wild Card Round. Maybe Darelle should follow in Prime Time’s footsteps if he’s looking for some extra loot and try out for the Yankees.  But there I go digressing again.  I don’t blame the Jets for not wanting to dump “#1 Quarterback money” on the league’s #1 corner back.  We’ve got other players to pay: namely, Nick Mangold (DO IT Tanny!).

Revis is the man, no doubt about it.   He’s an unbelievably gifted athlete who not only possesses the physical skills to be an elite NFL player but also plays with smarts.  He dupes quarterbacks into throwing his direction much like a boxer drawing his opponent into throwing an ill advised right-cross.  Then — BANG! — he snags the ball and forces a turnover.  It’s the smarts that piss me off.  He knows that if the Jets pay him $16 million bucks they’re going to have less money to spread around.  Depth is important.  Talent is important.  Multiple weapons are important.  All these motherf#$%ers want big bucks.  It might be the Jets PR finally getting to me but I’m starting to see Revis as a selfish player.  He’s putting his wallet in front of his team’s ability to win games and that’s just  a bunch of baloney.

The bottom line couldn’t be clearer: you sign a contract to play a team sport for X amount of years, you honor it and show up for work no matter how much more you think you might be worth.  Haynesworth is practicing for God’s sake.  Revis – get your but to work.  Football’s a team sport, homey, and you’re letting down everybody on the defense by sitting out.

This might be my favorite picture ever.